Anxious-insecure: People with an anxious attachment style have a deeply rooted fear of abandonment.They knew they could rely on their parents when they were sad. This type of person was shown love as a child and felt safe and secure with their caregiver. Secure: People with this attachment style have the ability to form secure and loving relationships with other people.The four attachment types that can occur in a mother-child relationship include: These styles were eventually sorted into four different categories.
Researcher Mary Ainsworth worked with Bowlby and found that specific aspects of the way a mother acted with their child led to different attachment styles with children. In 1944, psychotherapist John Bowlby wrote about how the attachments formed with a mother in infancy have a direct correlation to how adults behave. The different attachment styles can tell us a lot about why someone may have certain traits or issues as an adult. The Psychology Behind Mommy Issuesįrom a psychological standpoint, mommy issues can relate to the kind of attachment a child forms with their mother while growing up. This does not necessarily mean that the mother was a “bad” parent, but it can mean their behavior affected the way their child sees themself and their place in the world as an adult.
Mommy issues often stem from the way someone’s mother interacted with them while they were growing up. Mommy issues result in various psychological effects, which become more apparent as someone gets older and has their own romantic relationships. The term “mommy issues” commonly refers to a complex relationship with one’s mother. The interactions in a mother-child relationship and the effects they can have are sometimes referred to as “mommy issues.”īy knowing the signs of mommy issues and understanding the types of attachment styles that can stem from the relationship with your mother, you can help determine whether you may have mommy issues. It can also increase the likelihood of other emotional issues, such as anxiety or detachment. Going back to the days of Freud and other prominent psychologists, experts have looked at the relationship between mothers and children to explain why people are the way they are as adults.ĭifferent interactions with your mother in the early years of development can cause you to have different forms of attachment to romantic partners later in life. My sister & I are very uncomfortable in the company of women in general.Having a rocky relationship with your mother in childhood can lead to a lot of emotional turmoil in adulthood. We tend to gravitate towards bossy, older, controlling women as friends. I have also seen these same mommy issues in others with absent and\or abusive moms: My sister is an alcoholic, she has anorexia & she is a notorious cheater - which is sad because I honestly believe she's a good person deep inside, she's just messed up. And let me tell you, major mommy issues with both of us - especially in her as my sister had to deal with our mother in her teenage years. Ended up going to college & everything! Unfortunately, the courts left my younger sister with my mother. My mom was terrible, emotionally & physically abusive (she called my sister & I fat, sluts and whores when we were younger than 10, said constantly that she wished we were never born, said I hate you constantly, hitting us with things, the belt, one time I got hit with a phone) My dad however, was wonderful & used the last of his money to sue for custody when I was a preteen - he saved my life! After I moved in with my dad my grades went up & I stopped partying. If I tried to talk to her at school shed just walk away. I never got mean or scary or anything, and we were kids she didn't have the maturity to say "hey, stop texting me, I'm breaking up with you", so she ended up blocking me one night and eventually changing her number and just never speaking to me again. She agreed to go out with me after we admitted we liked each other, then I started requiring 24/7 contact because idk I was a shitty kid. my poor crush, let's call her Sam, showed me more caring attention than anyone had in months, and I latched on like a snapping turtle. I car pooled to and from school, my mom or dad would get home ling enough to feed me and put me to sleep, then go back to work or the hospital, where they slept.Įvery knew my sister was sick and that I was kind of weird but no one knew that I was completely alone most of the time.
So story time, while i was in middle school my older sister had brain cancer and by default most of the family's attention.
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